Emotional Healing

Finally an update.. only 2 months later :)
With all the exercising that I'm doing and watching what i eat, i still feel like I'm at a stand still and i know why. I have not been emotionally ready to let the past go. A few weeks ago i had attended an essential oil class. In this class we learned about "Emotional Healing with essential Oils". A point was brought up, in this class, that if there is an oil that you can not stand, that means there is something in it that you need. Patchouli oil makes my stomach turn. I can pick it out of a crowd, out of any oil it may be blended with, . I SIMPLY HATE IT!! . To prove this wrong, i decided to look this up. Here's what is said about Patchouli oil:
"Patchouli oil assists in releasing emotional judgements and issues related to the body, such as believing the body is unholy or dirty. This oil helps with body image distortions and general body dislike. This oil brings confidence in the body as well as grace, poise and physical strength.
EMOTIONS ADDRESSED: Body shame, disconnect from the body, judgement of the body, tension in the body."
COMPANION OILS: Grapefruit, cinnamon and spruce

So to go further with this, i looked up Grapefruit oil, simple put it read:
EMOTIONS ADDRESSED: Hate for the body, addiction to food or dieting, eating disorders, and anxiety over appearance.

I know that i need to be emotionally healed, i have not let my issues go. Case in point, i few weeks ago i really got my feelings hurt. I don't feel it was intentional but i cried for 3 days. I felt like the "fat girl on the playground" I felt everything that i had worked for so far was a waste. that i was back to being judged by my appearance. That i am an embarrassment to everyone I'm seen with, or that they only want to be seen with me, to make them look better.  I have become more reserved, my wall is back up and I'm very careful what i say and do around certain people. This is not who i am or who i want to be.. So i need EMOTIONAL HEALING, before i can truly go on and get past these hang ups that are keeping me at the same weight, the same habits, the same feelings and same insecurities that creep up over and over again. I'm simply emotionally and physically drained and i need change now!
Now i do not express my feelings in this blog for any kind of sympathy, that is not what I'm looking for. I just need to put this down as some sort of therapy, if you want to call it that.

So today is the first day of applying the dreaded Patchouli oil and grapefruit, twice a day. I want to gag at the smell of it, but I'm going to really test this out. I need to be freed from the emotional turmoil that has haunted me for years.

Updates and journeling will be a part of this journey.. stay tuned
Oct 8th, 2012 is the First step to emotional healing with essential oils.